its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
