he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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