I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
