My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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