is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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