If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm experimenting with sincerity
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
