Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
