Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
