So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I need water and some morals
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
