You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
