His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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