I think scott just propositioned me for sex
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
