you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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