if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
