just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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