Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
