Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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