It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
