These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
