if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
