Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You were trust falling into bushes
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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