Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
