I look better un-naked...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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