2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
