He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
