dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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