i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
