We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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