i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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