it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
