so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
