you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My vagina is officially offended.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
