Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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