a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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