wanna go halves on a baby?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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