the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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