Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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