Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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