today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
ok first of all what the fuck
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
