i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
