I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
