We won't sleep together?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
