I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
