There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
