So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
