do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
