I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
