My sheets look like a crime scene.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
