so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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