Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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