dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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