White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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