now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
