i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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